Blogging, Self-reflection

Little by Little

Is Penny full of crap?

It’s a question I ask myself often, though not in the third person because that would be strange and somewhat self aggrandising.

On this particular occasion, I’m asking it because I frequently end my blog posts with some sort of personal resolution- something I’m going to try to do better, or more of, or an outlook I want to keep in mind as I move through the world. It would be so easy for these good intentions to remain nothing but words.

So I want to hold myself accountable and ask: Have I actually done any of what I said I would? Or, is Penny full of crap?

I’ve gone through my previous blogs in chronological order (because I’m fun) to look for my potentially empty promises. Here’s the run down:

Stick with the blog

keyboard blogging
Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

Yes! Right out of the gate! We’re off to a good start. My first blog post described how I had started it for a seven day writing challenge, and was hoping if it went well that I’d keep it up. And here I still am…

Keep starting and failing at projects

progress on goals

In What Baking Can Do I talked about my short lived vegan baking business and came to the conclusion that I just need to keep trying stuff out, even if it’s a total failure, because that’s how I’ll eventually find the thing(s) that are going to click for me.

So, have I started any new projects? Hmm…not really. This blog is one, but I’m not sure there have been any others. Dang, and we were going so well.

Commit to improving at something I’m terrible at

ladder commitment
Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

Having been shocked at my frankly childish reaction to not being very good at trampolining, I resolved to pick something I’m really bad at and stick with it until I made some improvements. I identified a list of potential projects:

  • snooker and pool
  • football
  • go karting or anything that involves driving
  • drawing
  • bowling
  • sewing
  • keeping plants alive

Did I do any of these? No I fucking didn’t! I haven’t done any of them, okay? Leave me alone.

I don’t like this post anymore.

Although, to give myself some credit, I have been working on my attitude to being bad at things. I’ve recently started going back to aerial hoop and trapeze lessons after a long gap, and have gone to a few of the classes with my boyfriend. This could have been an absolute disaster, since even though I’d been probably about 40 times scattered sporadically over the last four years and he’d never been to a class before, it was clear that he was going to be better than me. He has more upper body strength and is way less of a scaredy-cat when it comes to trying new tricks. And I was right. He was doing things on his first class that I still can’t do, and won’t be able to for some time.

And I was actually okay with it! I had a little talk with myself beforehand and tried to accept the level I was at. I even warned Adrian that there was a chance I was going to be a weird dick about it (look at me trying to be in a mature communicative relationship!) Just voicing it helped a lot, because saying my ugly thoughts out loud made me really want to not be that person.

It was great, and so fun to share with each other. I’m probably more likely to stick at it consistently now and have an actual chance of genuinely improving (who knew that doing some three times every six months wasn’t a fast track to proficiency?!) because it’s something that we can enjoy together and motivate one another to work at.

Care less about what people think

Dance sunset woman
Photo by Levi Guzman on Unsplash

Now that I feel comfortable dancing like a fool, I wanted to spread this to other areas of my life, and stop giving a damn about what people think.

This wasn’t a very SMART goal (blurgh, I hate myself for even saying that), and as such is a bit difficult to say whether I’ve achieved it or not. I don’t think I’ve been focusing on it. So for safety let’s go for a big fat fail on this one.

Don’t drink *quite* so much at parties

Drunk panda
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Well. Big confession here, as I know you all think I’m a RAGING PARTY ANIMAL, but I’m actually somewhat bookish and homey. So, I haven’t drunk excessively since this post detailing a horrific hangover, but I also haven’t really been in a situation where I would feel inclined to do so. Because I don’t go to a shed ton of parties. Shocker. A few drinks over dinner etc, but not getting ON IT, so to speak. So far so good though.

Get more involved in climate activism

Wind farm climate action.jpg
Photo by Karsten Würth (@inf1783) on Unsplash

After feeling paralysed by what to do about climate change, I resolved to join my local Friends of the Earth chapter and get more actively involved in campaigning for the climate.

I’ve actually done well at this one! Friends of the Earth only meet once a month and sadly I couldn’t make the last two, but I’m finally getting along to my first one on Tuesday 20th November. Woohoo!

And this past weekend I went to a climate event organised by Extinction Rebellion, where thousands gathered across five different bridges in London to demand action from the government.  I was too much of a wimp to go along right at the beginning, where there was a chance people could have been arrested. I’m also lazy and didn’t want to get into London for 10am. Clearly I need to dig a little deeper to get involved. The climate is more important than my wanting to leisurely eat some scrambled tofu.

Still, I’ve made a start, and that’s not to be sniffed at!

Live life like a tourist

Millenium Bridge St Pauls

I came back from a trip to New York and was inspired to see my city through a tourist’s eyes. 

So.. I have plans to do this but so far life has got in the way. As always. I’ve been doing fun stuff, sure, but not necessarily seeking out new experiences.

I know that I will have a day in the not too distant future of adventuring round London, but I haven’t really prioritised this. Boo, Penny.

 

 

Well there we have it. Some good starts and some epic fails. This has been a good exercise in kicking me up the bum.

Now it’s your turn. What did you say you were going to do this year? Did you do it? Or are you full of crap?

 

 

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