Culture, Self-reflection

Am I boring?

A strange thing has happened to me.

Recently, whenever someone asks how I am, I find myself answering ‘Yeah, good…….’ followed by a slightly uncomfortable pause in which I struggle to find anything of note to update them on.

Work’s the same. Yep, still with my boyfriend. Yep, it’s going well. I’m just…getting on with being alive, I suppose.

But there’s a little voice in my head that wonders whether I haven’t got the teensiest bit boring of late.

Woman yawns on a city street
Photo by Kevin Grieve on Unsplash

Time was when I could have at least conjured up an anecdote of something embarrassing that had happened to me. But recently, not so much.

Sure, I definitely do and say silly things sometimes, but I’ve realised how often I have fallen back on making myself the butt of the joke. I’m an awkward bean, and believe in celebrating our uniqueness and being able to laugh at ourselves. However there’s a difference between that and peppering every conversation with ‘guess what I did?!’ anecdotes at the expense of my self esteem.

I’ll be honest though, my lack of a decent answer to ‘What’s new with you?’ is not down to a sudden, enlightened dismissal of self-effacing humour. I will still tell everyone whenever I do something embarrassing -like accosting someone to say ‘I’M FROM READING TOO’ at a networking event a few weeks ago, as if us both coming from a large town 20 minutes outside of London was going to be a big shocker.

Maybe I’m just not finding myself in as many situations that would normally be anecdotal fodder? I haven’t changed jobs in a while, not being in the dating game certainly means I have less tales of woe (‘I made a comment about feminism and he looked like I’d shat on him!’), I’m happy with my housemates and we’ve escaped our dastardly landlord.

Meanwhile the things I am doing don’t seem like great conversation starters:

‘I’m taking my Salesforce admin exam’

‘Oh, really, Penny? DO tell me all the juicy details of database management’

or

‘I’m fastidiously checking my finances as I’m actually trying to stick to a budget for once’

‘Wow, it must be FUN going out to dinner with you’

I feel like I’m in a phase where I feel settled and am making slow, steady progress towards positive changes.

Does that make me boring?

Yes, probably.

But for now, I’ll take it.

 

 

 

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